We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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