I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
