mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
