I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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