Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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