We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
