The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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