Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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