so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize