It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
