We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
