So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
