This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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