haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Floor bacon is actually really good
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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