could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
