those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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