just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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