I cockslap morals
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
