Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
