A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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