Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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