if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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