she was so not down for the gang bang
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I love you. Go after that dick
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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