If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
