Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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