if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize