yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
