Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
