I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
