she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize