I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
