I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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