she was so not down for the gang bang
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
