I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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