the condom got lost in my hair
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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