I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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