Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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