I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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