it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
