So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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