He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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