i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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