the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize