So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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