the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
