I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
