My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
