I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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