dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
