and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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