grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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