Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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