This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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