dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
