he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do vagina's smell?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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