ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
