let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
