i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
