It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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