She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Actions speak louder than pants.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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