I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
