i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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