She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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