dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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