His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
