i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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