one might say we're banned from that church
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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