sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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