I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
