Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
